August 2000 - August 2009
Yesterday was father’s ninth anniversary and that made me introspect.
What is very different about my life at age 32 than it was at 23? I think I am more active and responsible now. I fuss about a lot of things a lot less nowadays. I read more. My skin is thicker. The fact that I’ve grown a few grey strands has helped me realize that roughly 50% of my active life is already gone. Time is running out. And I’ve done practically nothing worth while. This is very similar to a student who has a lot many answers to write in the exams but finds 50% of the time is already gone.
Some dreams were reduced to mere statistics and probability in due course. I now realize that if I’ve led an ordinary first half of life, chances likely I’d lead an ordinary second half as well unless I pull off something truly special. I tend to use ‘Will’,'will not’ less often and use words like ‘probably, more likely’ more and more. I realize that the world has got its way of working, and its me who has to reconcile with the world and not otherwise.
Somewhere in this time span, life has posed me the eternal ‘Is that all there is’? question and I’ve tried to answer that. My current realization is there is nothing intrinsic in life. And there will be nothing if we do not put anything into life ourselves to make it meaningful. There is always effort pilferage. Which means there will be nothing but entropy again if my efforts to add meaning to life is slower than the pilferage. Accepting this has helped me get more involved with life while keeping my disappointments manageable.
Mistakes.. oh yeah lot of them. But Randy Pausch made me realize that at the end of the day, if I am to die very shortly, I think I’d be more disappointed about the things I had not done over the ones where I made a mistake.
On looking back, it is evident that I’ve been damn lucky in a lot of aspects in the last nine years. A lot of my bets could have gone horribly wrong as much as it went right. I do not know if my luck would continue forever, but I guess so long as I keep myself immersed in life, get my answers to ‘Is that all there is?’ question right, I’d be a happy man till the end.
August 19th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
hello karthik,
without father to lend moral support, advancing in life is a difficult one emotionally
but also a challenging one.
more happiness shall greet in the days coming!
PS Off the record:
Your comments on Beat the Bush theory on stock market, gave me some new insight, thanx
August 19th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
karthikeyan
thank you.
and regarding the inefficient bush theory, glad that you liked it. it made total sense
August 20th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Being a Father - Means a lot more these days..!
Thanks to pressures these days fathers and mothers just exist for several kids.
That’s a shame.
How many dads and moms spend constructive time with their kids. Is it enough to live for them to call us ‘Dad / Mom’. How do we influence their lives?
This is a big thought for me! I try my best to be a better Dad..but often times I feel that I hadn’t done my best.
We all change as time grows, and learn as we change hopefully for the better !
Kids in the meantime will be kids and grow up depending on parents until some time…in their lives looking up to the dads and the moms.
Better for the kids if the Dads and Moms give more for family !!
You have come long ways PK…!!! Good luck with all your future endevours..and that ‘Thick Skin’…let me remind you..that ‘ More the thicker the better’.
August 20th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
Narayanan sir,
Thanks a ton for the wishes.
Parenting…is beyond words…
Influencing kids… there is a school of thought which says peers matter as much, if not more, for the kids than the parents…
(I have not read this one)…try ‘The nurture assumption’ by Judith Rich Harris on this subject.