ExpertDabbler

After analyzing close to 25 India trips by several US makkals I know, I think there is a definite pattern. They visit because

a) They are getting married,
b) Their X is getting married
c) Their X’s X is getting married
d) They need to get their visa extensions stamped
e) A loved one is sick
f) They want to sort out their property related matters

As a by-product, they might also want to catch up with friends when time permits.

The most important thing is that the list is not exhaustive. And its never for a single major reason, unless its an emergency which is out of scope of our discussions since thats not a planned trip.

In general, the more reasons, the better. I will tonsure my head in tirupathi if proven otherwise in at least five cases. Coming to think of it, this makes sense. After all, who would take three weeks off and travel 15000 miles just because he felt like eating kamarkatt and thengai barfi?

Also their immediate family’s ability to manufacture plans in an overnight is legendary.

Payyanai, Pennai partha sandhosham results in
- a pilgrimage trip (Tirupathi, Shirdi, Sringeri, Kumbakonam taluks)
- seeing distant relatives in distant places
- visiting ancestral home

So their wish list, their families’ wish list and everything in between will be packed in this three week time slot.

What gets priority?
Since visa extension stamping is a non-negotiable item, that will be the first priority.
Next comes attending weddings which is the main reason they are here.
Then comes must-see relatives who will create a furore if they are missed. After all who wants ‘US la irukom -ngra thimiru’ tag?

Then comes long seen friends. Of course they too will grumble if proper time is not allotted for but they can be handled with ‘economies of scale’. Call five or ten folks, make a plan for an evening dinner and voila, you are meeting all of them in a three hour time frame. Pure economies of scale. The other less important acquaintances can be talked over phone, or SMS-ed, or emailed or just plain ignored. And it makes sense too. I’d do the same.

The only time which I suspect is not yet accounted for and squeezed for some activity is their time in the bathroom. Suffice to say three weeks will fly before they get breathing time which in all likelihood they’d only get when they board their return Lufthansa.

In essence, there are as many deadlines to meet and commitments to keep as in work. This is just different sort of work in a different country and you are spending for it.

So what is my problem with it?

- They almost always tend to underestimate how busy they’d be here. And they announce to, i don’t know, like half of chennai, these five words ‘Chennai la meet pannalaam machi’ via mails, phones etc. People publish itineraries, train ticket PNR numbers, ask me to book etc. In the end its all the same. It is as fundamental as man’s ‘incentive caused bias’.

People who I know ever since I started wearing underwear get to talk to me in their India trips when,

- they visit me at mid-night
- I visit their relative’s place at mid-night
- I make a trip to cbe over the weekend.

And even then, the best, heart-felt conversations I’ve ever had with these folks is over phone when they are in the US. Never when they visit India. I used to fume and grumble when ignored. Not anymore. I know how it goes nowadays. Being
thirty something does make a difference I tell you. More on that later.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 20th, 2009 at 9:56 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.