Invisible boundaries - my version
Actually I first did not understand when I read this in Ramya’s blog. Tube lights take longer time and its been proved again.
Anyway, 100% perfect synchronization in what one tries to say and how he or she is perceived is possible some times but certainly not all times between two human beings no matter how close they are.
Ironically, there are certain times when the harder we try to communicate verbally, more distortion happens in the way its understood. Sometimes the distortion is directly proportional to the intimacy or closeness of the relation.
My intense fights have been with my mom. There are instances where I have actually broke down trying in vain to explain my emotions and feelings.
I think at one stage, we realize that no matter how close the other person is we are still individuals and separate from that person.
Nowadays, I just do and say things my way. I still crave for my mom’s admiration, love but I don’t break my head. But I do not take the pain to explain why I said what I said. Even to my mom, its for her to contemplate and decide and derive my motives. I don’t think I will break my head for my sweet heart either whenever such situations come in future.
If what I am going to say is going to be interpreted in a different way then so be it. Its high time people really knew my nature and recognized me for I am and my motives. I just put the onus on the other person, at least on some occasions.
I have already written my thoughts about society and its approval some time back and I fully subscribe
to that even now, save for the grammatical and typo errors.
I think essentially there has to be balance between what we perceive as society’s ideas and our very own.
Balance is the key word in all interactions and relationships. Balance between going out of our way for our loved ones at times and being our own as an indivudal in our very own personal space at certain other times.
Ah,its been a long time since i wrote something reflective in my blog.
July 3rd, 2005 at 12:06 am
Hey,
This is very true and I’ve found that some people cannot cope with the realization that no matter how close you are, you are still an individual! The responsibility of having to make decisions on one’s own is misinterpreted by some as loneliness. Hmm..you’ve got me started on a subject that I feel strongly about..maybe I will second you and write a blog..:))
July 3rd, 2005 at 12:08 am
talent raa nee,, oru oru postlayum oru link kuduthu rendu page visit guarantee panrey..
seri seri..adhukku mela keela oru 20 lines ezhudhi irukkaneyngariyaaa…
one advise.. neraiya book padikkaadha lol:)
July 3rd, 2005 at 12:11 am
subha,
i know topics like this are your forte:)
looking forward to yr version
July 3rd, 2005 at 12:13 am
@ioiio,
tharudhalai:)
July 3rd, 2005 at 3:52 am
Problem lies here : If what I am going to say is going to be interpreted in a different way then so be it.
That’s were society comes in…I mean others around you…trying to interpret you…and therby causing a mess.!
IMHO - Don’t care about the society as long as you feel what you are saying / doing is correct.
July 3rd, 2005 at 6:23 am
narayanan sir,
avlo dhaan matter:)
July 3rd, 2005 at 7:02 am
dho paarraaa yaaru yaara tharudhalainnu solradhu.. nee dhaan andha listla no.1
July 3rd, 2005 at 9:56 am
Thaayum pillaiyum ondraanaalum
Vaayum vayirum veru
appadeengaradhai personal angle-lerndu sollitteenga.
July 3rd, 2005 at 9:32 pm
P~K, your version is a different interpretation from my version but interestingly different.
Quoting from Hugh Prather’s, notes to myself: “No one is wrong. At most someone is uninformed. If I think a man is wrong, either I am unaware of something or he is. So, unless I want to play a superiority game I had best find out what he is looking at.
“You’re wrong” means “I dont understand you” - I’m not seeing what you’re seeing. But there is nothing wrong with you, you are simply not me and that’s not wrong.”
July 3rd, 2005 at 9:51 pm
thennavan,
apt a paatu solla ungalai vitta aaal kidayadhu:)
July 3rd, 2005 at 9:56 pm
RS,
hugh prather - heard abt this book, seen it but yet to read it.
i think u talked abt the magic in a relationship being lost bcos of the filters in each persons psyche and the consequent subjective interpretations about what the other expressed.
but that magic can be regained when our loved ones see what we wanted to convey truth on their own without us explaining it.
i have experienced it and so are many people who have been around me for so long.
am i making sense?
July 5th, 2005 at 2:51 am
makes sense
July 6th, 2005 at 3:03 pm
Hi Karthik,
This is my first time here and I found your writing to be great. The flow is simply superb. I could hardly stop reading your posts.
After reading this one on Invisible boundaries, I thought I would share with you what I have written about being understood by others in one of my posts.
http://theydal.blogspot.com/2005/06/blog-post_06.html
I dont know whether that makes sense.
July 6th, 2005 at 3:03 pm
I have also blogrolled you.